My Responsibility to Myself

During the years I took psychotropic medications for depression and anxiety, I continually felt out of control and held a negative attitude about my situation. No amount of pill popping could fix my general dissatisfaction with life. They didn’t make me want to stick around and make things better so I settled on a menial existence. The thing I wasn’t getting, that wasn’t sinking into my mushy medicated brain is that I’m responsible for my own happiness and creating the life I want.

I still needed to do the work in therapy. I still had to figure out how to be happy and actively participate in my life. Not sitting around waiting for a drug to magically kick in! The medications could only help so much. I had to let go of stinking thinking and the idea my therapist, psychiatrist, pastor, parents, friends, guru, etc…was going to fix me or make me all better. At the end of the day, every one is responsible for themselves, their own happiness and direction of our lives. I can be inspired by someone else’s story or inspiration but I need to do the work for myself to make my life better, peaceful, loving, or whatever it is I am wanting. If I want love and peace then I find loving and peaceful people to be with who lift me up. I let go of those who are toxic and only see my flaws. I look upon and read about those who are living a happy life to get more inspiration.

In my book, Dear Sophia, Love Yourself!, I have a chapter called “I Am Not My Illness” because for a long time it was all I could see about myself. Because I was so depressed and anxious, I could not see myself any other way but it simply wasn’t true. The mental illness was a symptom of something greater that was broken in my life. Yes, it took a lot of people for me to reach the other side but mostly it took my own strength, will power and passionate desire for change. My invitation for each one who reads this blog is to find out what makes you happy no matter your circumstances. Look inside of yourself, what do you really want to do, say or be if there was nothing holding you back? Find a way to do it! Start by accepting and loving yourself today. Give yourself the love and acceptance you crave. People will love and accept you, but love and accept yourself even more!!

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