These are exciting times for me because I’m continually changing or evolving. There’s only one constant thing and that is change. We’re either getting better, or we’re not, but change is subtly taking place. Our actions dictate what’s going to happen next or not. But things are changing. I’m getting older and dealing with habits I developed a long time ago differently if only because I’m older. I understand more. I am able to see clearly what action steps to take next in order to shift my life. Even if it seems the same, the fact that I can look at it and notice, means it’s slightly different.
People really do change. I used to not believe it, but then I changed. I used to be chronically suicidal. I was very depressed and had PTSD. But I healed and I changed. I changed my mindset, too. I changed how I think about life and how I deal with life. I realize I was stuck believing I would always be ill, but here I am now healed. I changed how I deal with problems. Instead of spiraling down into chaos, I deal with whatever is presenting itself to me. I have a wide range of emotions, I am no longer afraid to feel nor express them. I allow myself to feel sad because I know I won’t cry forever. I allow myself to get angry without being destructive. I allow myself to be happy! I allow myself to be in the present, right now, and no longer look back at my painful and chaotic past. If I do take a glimpse, and I smile knowing I survived! I conquered! I lived to tell about it!
Some people believe change is hard. It’s only hard if you resist it. Go with the flow. Make the necessary adjustments and you’ll see how easy it can be! Our resistance is what makes it hard! Change is constant and it’s good for us. Not too many years ago, I would constantly check in with myself to make sure I was in touch with reality. I no longer do that because I am no longer in that state. I changed. Now I meditate, I sing, I laugh, I cry, I dance, I exercise, I read, I write, I spend time outdoors, I talk to people, I write blogs, and lots of stuff I enjoy, or, that is good for my mental health! I take care of myself. I honor myself. I sleep when I’m tired. I eat when I’m hungry. I take care of my mind and body. I love myself!
I want to reiterate, I wasn’t this way before, for I was in a constant state of turmoil, depression. suicidal ideation, and chaos. I was on lot of psychotropic medications that only dulled my senses. The medication didn’t change my mindset about life, and dealing with mental illness. I no longer have the symptoms of mental illness. However, I will not venture to say I’m “normal.” What the hell is normal anyway? There’s no such thing! I’m simply me. I am a sensitive person though and it took me a long time to realize this! When I realized it, I was able to see that I’m different from others and I am unique. I didn’t need to strive to be like someone else. I merely wanted to be comfortable with me in my own skin!
There are some people who are very different from others, and because they don’t think like them nor act like them, they think there is something wrong with them! And you know what else? Those other people think there is something wrong with them, too! But no, there is nothing wrong with being different! Do not change yourself to fit into someone else’s view of you or to fit in! Be yourself. Love yourself! If you want to change something about yourself, that’s fine, but do it for you and no one else! I have learned to just love and appreciate myself just the way I am and things have a way of sorting themselves out.
It’s easy to change when you love yourself. I eat healthy foods because I love myself. I exercise my body because I love myself. I sleep at night because I love myself. I drink lots of water because I love myself. I meditate daily because I love myself. I take a break when I’m tired because I love myself. I spend time with others because I love myself. I give generously to others because I love others, and I love myself. I am compassionate to me and others because I love myself. I clean my home because I love myself. Everything I do is out of love for life, others, and myself.
I’m just as important as others. I am worthy. I am lovable. I am loved. I love. I love myself. I’m not just changing though, I am releasing or letting go of things that are no longer good for me. I love myself so I don’t abuse my body. I don’t talk badly about myself. I don’t berate myself. I talk lovingly to myself. I ask for help when I need it. If I fall short of my best self, I forgive myself, and keep on loving myself. I am the key to changing myself. I am at peace with myself because I love myself. I am free to be myself because I love me! I love who I am today and who I am becoming! I love myself!