Monthly Archives: May 2017

Beauty of Hindsight

I don’t know how many times I have wondered, “Why did this happen to me?” I don’t know how many times I wondered why I was let go or dismissed. I thought I had done everything right and followed all the rules. I put my best foot forward, I was nice, polite, and “something else”! Yet things didn’t go as planned! What I’ve learned is many people learn their lessons in hindsight. After all, if I’d known a relationship wouldn’t pan out, maybe I never would have started it. If I had known the job wasn’t a good fit, I wouldn’t have tried it and left. Perhaps it was meant to go that way to teach me a lesson! Not many of us have the right perceptions in order to avoid seemingly “disastrous outcomes.” Yet, I believe all of these experiences are life lessons.

However, it usually takes a long time to learn the lesson when I’m resisting it. Like many years ago, I was very depressed and hurt at the way my life was going and the relationships not working out. I wondered what I had done wrong. I didn’t feel like I had done anything wrong. The more I pondered it, the more I wanted an answer, the more I stewed and couldn’t let it go. This is where the danger of falling into depression and being unable to cope comes in. Yes there were many other factors, but at the time I didn’t know how to just let go. I didn’t have the life skills, yet this exact situation was teaching them to me! Resisting, and insisting on answers caused me to lose the lesson until many years after I had finally moved on, and one day I had an “aha” moment of revelation!

I often ask myself now, when things seem to be going awry, “what is this situation trying to teach me?” Sometimes, it’s apparent and other times I need to wait. When I’m stuck in the middle of something, it’s hard to see where it’s going, and what I’m being taught. I’ve learned to be patient, compassionate, forgiving, and loving with myself so that I can continue to function and breathe without spiraling down. This in turn empowers me to give others patience, compassion, forgiveness, love and grace when they’re going through their own struggles. Once I figured out that I learn things in hindsight, I was able to love, forgive and move on.

Resistance slows the process! I had to learn to go with the flow! It takes patience, wisdom and trust in yourself, that you’re going to okay.  As I look back on my life, I see I have overcome so much, and I’m grateful for the beauty of hindsight!

Legacy of Light

It’s the day we celebrate our mothers or not. Everyone says “Happy mother’s day” but I know not everyone has a happy day. Some of us are sad about our mothers and our own motherhood. I used to be one of those. I was very cynical about mother’s day. I wasn’t happy with my mother, then she passed away and I had no reason to celebrate it. I certainly wasn’t happy with the type of mother I was turning out to be either! I was always aware of my own shortcomings and the things I wished I hadn’t done as a mother. However, as I worked on my issues and changed my perspective about mothers, I began to heal and I also had a newfound respect for my own mother.

Mothers are not perfect, some of them are broken, and others had very poor examples or didn’t have one at all. As I began to heal my issues, realized my unresolved pain, I slowly let myself off the hook. I forgave myself, I loved myself, and embraced my inner child who wanted unconditional love.  I let go of all previous guilt and shame. In turn, I was able to love and forgive my mother. I hope someday my own children will know I did the best I could and know that it’s all that is required of you as a mother or person.

As I heal myself, I allow love to wash over all the past, present, and future to heal my children and my children’s children. It begins with awareness and the desire to create a new life, and new stories and chapters in our lives. The past doesn’t define our present, unless we let it. The past has no hold over our current lives. We can completely let it go, create new memories and start a new legacy of light. A legacy of light is one where we let our lights shine. The light shines brightest in the darkness. It brings hope, healing and love for all. Our light is passed down from generation to generation. We get to choose how we will shine our light. I am thankful for my mother and the light she birthed in me. Namaste.

Peace, love, and light!

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Today I’m celebrating the two year anniversary of publishing my book Dear Sophia, Love Yourself! I am going to do something celebratory even though I have no idea what right now! Lol. I am somewhat of a dreamer. The idea in my head of what I’m going to do to celebrate and reality is very different! I see myself dressed up, surrounded by friends and family, at a nice restaurant drinking champagne or sparkling cider for me since I’m
a light weight. I see us sitting around in comfortable chairs talking about the favorite story from my book. I can dream right?

Dreams are what this life is made of! Lots of things start out as a little dream. When it’s acted upon, it becomes a creation and reality. Everything I see around me started off as someone’s idea or dream. It’s interesting how it works out. I have received numerous messages of how my book inspired someone or gave them the idea to write their own stories. The messages always warm my heart.

I’m still writing, blogging, and slowly working on my second book. The heart of my book is the 2nd to last chapter called “Therapy Love.” I write about how my therapist was the biggest factor in my healing and changing my mindset. She gave me a rose quartz bracelet which was very special to me. I started buying rocks, stones or crystals as a result. I fell in love with all the colors, the uniqueness of each one, their strength, and the fragility of crystals. They remind me to love myself and others, and to not compare. We
are all unique. All the crystals shine on their own right. So do stars. They just shine, in the darkness, whether we see them or not. This is the person I choose to be today. I choose to be love, I choose to be peace, I choose to be kind and compassionate on my own. I choose to shine my light in the darkness of our world. Thank you to all my friends, family, and fans for your kindness and support. Peace, love, and light.

Judgment and Criticism

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Recently, I was receiving negative comments on a post I made in a social group. I was getting all of this negative feedback, judgement, and criticism. None of them knew, I had already felt badly about it. I had already judged myself harshly. I also had already forgiven myself, and let it go. Therefore, I deleted my post. I was not there to be a receptacle of negative comments. I didn’t deserve any of them. None of us do!  I am not for public shaming, and criticizing people’s life choices. I believe in compassion, forgiveness and acceptance. I am going to continue sharing my truth and writing my stories, but the intent is always to inspire, to share information, and to lift people up. It is never ever to tear anyone down. I also don’t believe anyone on this earth has the right to judge another person for their life choices. Everyone’s journey and choices will be different. I’m still going to use my authentic voice. I’m still perfectly imperfect!. I love myself. The negative comments were a learning point of what some people are able to process and receive.   To be clear, I am guilt free, I am free of shame, I am free of judgment. Whatever endeavor you find yourself, keep yourself clean and untainted from the judgments of others! Don’t let it spoil you or dim your light, or discourage you from sharing your truth. Keep writing, singing, dancing, working, creating or
wherever your heart leads you to do!  Be authentically you!