Tag Archives: different

Everybody’s Crazy

Many years ago, I was very depressed and taking numerous medications for my condition. It was complicated by personality disorders and PTSD. One time, my sister called me around my birthday and asked me what I wanted. I told her, “what I want, you can’t buy.” She asked, “what is it?” I told her I wanted a right mind. She said to me, “Oh, Sophie, everybody’s crazy!” I quietly cried feeling very misunderstood. She didn’t know how bad I was feeling. She didn’t know I just wanted to die. About 20 years later, I finally understood what she meant! This is about how long it took for me to get myself together, too, in order to start making changes in my life so I could heal. I started to realize everyone was crazy so I wondered, What the hell am I trippin’ on???

There is a difference between someone who is going through a chemical imbalance of some sort and the normal everyday crazy.  However, many people don’t understand this. They don’t understand a person who feels they are not in their right mind feels crazy, out of control, like something has taken over, as if they are lost without a body, just wandering around like a lost soul. So many people throw around phrases like, “that’s so crazy” without understanding how it effects people who think they might be crazy. I used to just go “crazy” when people used phrases like, “that’s so schizophrenic” or would cavalierly call something crazy. It would embroil me and get me all worked up. I try not to use the word “hate” ever because it’s a serious word and I hardly truly hate anything or anyone, but I do hate the “crazy” word. Although, sometimes, I’m known to sing, “boom boom, ain’t it great to be crazy!”

Once I woke up to the reality of everyone’s general craziness, it wasn’t so bad. I could relax and not try so hard to be “normal” whatever the hell is normal! Lol. Relaxing, I’m able to be a bit more objective, understanding and compassionate towards myself instead of constantly striving to be something or someone else to fit in.

Today, many people strive to be themselves, start their own trends, wear whatever colors they want, do what they want, without checking to see if it’s the current fad or craze, nor seeking anyone’s approval. Everyone is not striving to fit into some category or box. There is a bit of chaos and craziness involved! However, in my mind, trying to look like others or fit in, is a bit of craziness, too! There’s just no other explanation. It’s okay to be different. It’s okay to be outspoken or quiet. It’s okay to be upbeat or sad. There’s nothing wrong with being human! There’s nothing wrong with feeling your emotions deeply. There’s nothing wrong with not feeling your emotions. Why must we constantly look at someone and judge whether or not they are behaving normally? Normal simply doesn’t exist. I realize there may be some signs that someone’s life is off balance and maybe they need assistance with it, or not.

What I know is that many people suffer in silence out of shame or guilt. They don’t want to be pointed out, don’t want to be judged, don’t want to be called, “crazy” or “insane” so they keep their own opinions and preferences to themselves. I know I did. Starting from when I was little, someone would ask me what I want, I’d say, “I don’t care.” I was afraid to make a choice or to state my preference for many reasons, but that was my general answer. Mainly because I had seen others teased for liking something different. I’d seen people ridiculed, laughed at or picked on for wearing different clothes, liking other music, choosing other foods, etc…

Nowadays, the “c” word doesn’t bother me so much, but back when I was struggling with my mental illness, it was very disheartening. People who are different are not crazy. People with different perceptions of reality are not crazy. People who choose to live their lives on their own terms are not crazy. People who dance to the beat of their own drum, even if you can’t hear the drum beat, are not crazy. People who are sensitive, delicate, or don’t fit into a boxed category are not crazy. People with a mental illness are not crazy. Oh, yet, everybody’s crazy!

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Fear and Bullies

When I was little girl, I was afraid to let my foot hang over the edge of the bed. I was afraid of whatever was under the bed would reach up and grab it and drag me under. I was also afraid to go in the closet at night and I slept with the light on. I didn’t like seeing any dark shadows! As an adult now, I can see how fears can grab hold of me and take me under! It makes me afraid to speak up or to let myself be seen. Lately, the theme of overcoming fears has been coming up a lot. Fears of the unknown needs to be illuminated. I’m not saying there are no real dangers out in the world, I’m just talking of the unknown ones. Nowadays, if I’m afraid of what’s in the closet, I’ll go in there and make friends with it. I go in there, turn on the light and see that there is no monster!! I turn off the light and see there is nothing there. The monster was all in my mind. I created it with my fearful thoughts. If there is anything I’m afraid of, I go find out what it is. I make peace with it and “it” really is just fearful thoughts that try to get the best of me. I encourage each one to not be paralyzed by the fear of the unknown. If something or some place is dark, turn on the light. Illuminate it and see it for what it really is. Don’t be bullied by fear of the unknown.

Speaking of bullies, that’s exactly what they do, they instill fear and terror in their victims. I recently saw a movie about bullies. It helped inspire this blog post. I had my share of bullies growing up. Many kids are teased and picked on for being different. They are made fun of if you have a disability, too short, too tall, too round, too thin, too smart or not smart enough. The list goes on and on. I was a sensitive child.  I had many fears of the unknown but many of them were based on actual monsters in the form of a bully. When people are made fun of because they’re different it hurts to the core and a person can develop all kinds of fears, withdraw from society, have an inferiority complex, depression, anxiety and on it goes.

I was very sad and lonely as a child. I cried a lot and I felt everything deeply. I still feel everything deeply. Some of us are hardwired that way. Some people said I was too shy, too thin skinned or needed to toughen up. Yes, the world can be a harsh and cruel place to live in but I don’t believe becoming hardened is the answer. No, because there are so many people in this world who are different. There are no two people alike. We all have strengths and weaknesses. No one needs to be ashamed of themselves for being different and not fitting in with the “normal” crowd. I would submit that the world is what needs to change. Those who are different don’t need to adapt but the world needs to adapt to them. The world can learn to be kinder, gentler, accepting and loving to those who are different or tenderhearted. The world can learn to be at peace and accept everyone and live at peace with all peoples. It all starts from within. It starts with our hearts and accepting those who don’t look like you, talk like you, act like you, or think like you do. No more bullies!!!