Tag Archives: #loveyourself

Conscious Living

Years ago, I was in a support group for people who had suffered various childhood traumas.  I had severe depression, anxiety, and post traumatic stress disorder.   Frequently, we’d all share how we spiraled down due to the negative voices going on inside.  One woman, called the voices, “The committee.”  The committee would call her names.  The committee would say she’s ugly, not trying hard enough, a failure, dirty, embarrassing, unlovable, evil, unworthy, and so on.  We all were fighting our own negative messages.   To a certain extent, everyone has to fight negativity, even those who don’t have a mental illness or have not been abused.  We each have a shadow side to contend with.

Since I have healed from my mental illness, I have learned to live consciously, and  set up a new committee in my head.  This committee tells me to keep going when I feel like giving up.  This committee reminds me I am loved, I am beautiful, worthy, and I am strong when I start to feel otherwise or life is getting me down.  This is the beauty of living consciously, I set my own messages and I disregard any that do not agree with me nor serve my highest good.  Any messages now, that brings me down, they’re instantly tossed away.  In doing so, I don’t spiral down.  I use the positive committee, instead, to spiral up!

This is the essence of conscious living whether you are struggling with mental health issues, negative influences or messages from relationships and society in general.  There is negativity all around, but I don’t let it bring me down, instead I consciously choose where my thoughts will go, because thoughts direct our actions.    It means I’m choosing where I go, who I spend my time with, what programs on TV that lift me up and which ones take me down.  It’s choosing what I eat, where I live, and what I breathe!  There clearly are negative influences in this world and then there are the lifegiving ones.  I choose the lifegiving ones that support me, my lifestyle, my personality, and quirks.  Remember, there is always a choice to react to negativity or respond with grace and compassion.

So when the dark clouds come, and sometimes they do, I listen to my new committee, who I sometimes call my higher self, my inner self or soul.  I listen to the voices that give hope, life supporting and ultimately leads to my freedom from darkness, and into the light.  I spiral up, instead of down.    Another aspect of conscious living, is trusting in my heart.    When I’m sad and feeling unlovable and unloved, I place my hand on my heart.  I feel it beating, and tune into it  The heart knows a lot more than my mind.  My heart’s message is, “You are loved.” “You are worthy.” “ You are strong.”  “You are enough!”  “Love yourself!”  As I love myself, I spiral up even higher!  Live consciously by loving yourself, and trusting your heart.

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Love for Every day

A lot people wait until they’re death bed to finally forgive and let go.   They wait until they’ve been given their last few months and go out to make amends with people, get their affairs in order, tell everyone who is important to them how much they love them.    I wonder what would I do if I was told that it was my last year, my last month, my last hour, or last minutes.  What would I do?  I’ve lived sort of a full life.  I don’t exactly recall anyone I need to go and forgive or someone to go love.  I have strived to live every day as if it were my last one.

So I’m going to ask you, what are you waiting for?  What did you always want to go do?  Who do you need to call?  Who do you want to reconcile with?  What was that argument you had which ripped your relationships apart?  Could you do it?  Is it important to you?  Do you absolutely love your life and the people who are in it?   Is there someone to invite over?

This is not a fearmongering or doomsday type message.  It’s simply your wake up call.  It’s your permission to go and do what is meaningful and important to you (so long as it doesn’t infringe upon anyone’s right to pursue love, liberty and happiness.)   I’m serious here!  It’s okay to call someone I hurt and say, “ I’m sorry for my actions or inaction.”  It’s really okay to take personal responsibility.  It’s okay to say, “Can we start over?  Can we try again?”  It’s okay to say, “I was wrong, please forgive me!”  It’s okay to say, “I forgive you, I love you, whatever it was doesn’t matter right now today!”   It’s okay to say, “I’m sorry for the words I spoke.  I’m sorry I judged you.  I’m sorry I let trivial things get in the way.”

See how easy it is?  See how easy it is to love your self and then love others?  See how simple the process could be?  Maybe the other person won’t be ready to forgive or move on, but that’s a reflection of them, and not on you.  We can all stop with the guilt and shaming of ourselves and others in the name of being right or whatever you want to call it.  I’m telling you, my dear, when the final curtain drops and the lights go out, some things in this life just won’t matter.  What are you making a big deal of right now that won’t matter when this life is done?  Go ahead and fix it now.  Fix it for love’s sake.  Fix it for compassion sake.  Fix it because you really want to.  Fix it because you are ready to move on to other things.  Fix it for no reason, but because you can!

Love is always ready to love again.  Love is always ready to forgive.  Love is compassion.  Love is forgiving.  Love is getting up and trying again.  Love patiently waits and willingly forgives.  Go ahead and give out that compassion, forgiveness and love like candy!  Just pass it out and give it away to those who matter to you.  Give it to the brokenhearted and those in need.  Give it freely from your heart.  Love is always standing by to love some more.  Love is the answer.  Love yourself.  Love your life.  Love is the most important thing.   In the end, only love remains.

The Good Years Outnumber The Bad Years

Many years ago, a good friend told me, “Sophia, someday, your good years are going to outnumber the bad years.” I had no idea what it would look like but I looked forward to the day. The measure for me was that the first 18 years of my life were hell, so I figured after I turned 36, they would start to get better. However, by then, I had full blown major depression and PTSD, and there didn’t seem to be any end in sight. It took me many more years of healing before I finally saw the good years outnumber the bad ones. Sometimes I lost hope, and I forgot about what she said. I just didn’t even want to try anymore. I’d give up, but then a spark of hope would get me going again.

During those years of trying to overcome my past, I had no idea what I was reaching for. I thought maybe I just didn’t want to be depressed. I didn’t know what true happiness looked like. I thought maybe I didn’t want PTSD but I didn’t know what exactly was the alternative? When you have been living with a condition for a long time, it can easily seem like it’s been this way since forever and it’s never going to end. Time doesn’t really heal all wounds, but after a while, our perspectives do change, for better or worse. No one really knows what another person is going through unless they’ve been exactly in the same place and feel the exact same way. We all do have pain and suffering in common but everyone deals with their issues from their points of view, their own life experiences, and sometimes other people just cannot go there with us.

This is why it’s important to let love, compassion, and patience be your guide with loved ones if they’re going through something that you don’t understand, or you think they should be able to snap out of it. It took me decades to reach the other side or to finally get to the point where my good years did in fact outnumber the bad years. Have a little faith and trust in the process. Eventually, I did heal from my past, the depression, and PTSD, too.  For years, I took different psychotropics to manage my illnesses.  I no longer take any medications except one for an underactive thyroid.

Sometimes you’ll have a bad moment, but don’t think it’s going to last.  Or it could be a bad week, month, year, or even a decade or two.   Life really does change.  People do change.  Don’t ever give up. Keep hope alive.   Love yourself!

What I Believe

A while ago, a fan asked me about my testimony. I was somewhat reluctant to share any information about a testimony. I had one and then I decided it was no longer relevant to me or my current belief system. Many years ago, a family member came to me and informed me that God does not give unconditional love. I was a bit annoyed with her at the time. I know she was trying to strike a conversation with me, but coming at me with this was a bit much. I already knew what I believed about God, yet, here she was trying to get me to think of God in a different way. I had way too many people trying to influence my belief systems.
So I decided I just didn’t believe any of it. Despite that I had made statements of faith before, I just didn’t want to go through the hassle of working out my faith, and I didn’t want to wade through the beliefs of others. I didn’t want to be engaged in these senseless conversations. So God doesn’t give unconditonal love, what use is this God to me then? I went 27 years believing in the bliblical version of God. I staked my life on the Bible. I believed with my whole heart, mind and soul that God was real, that Jesus had died for my sins, and saved me from eternal damnation.
Slowly, I made decisions to question every one of my beliefs. I was scared but not of God but from people. I didn’t think God cared one way or the other whether I questioned my beliefs in Him. It’s the people who care and would be concerned for my soul! Yet who are these people to tell me who God is? Who are they to try to influence my beliefs? Isn’t God big enough to do this? Isn’t God strong enough? Isn’t God, God enough to reveal him/herself to me?
My testimony today is that I believe God is love and doesn’t need the modifier of “unconditional” love. I believe God is an energy and is neither male or female or perhaps is both. I do not embrace the biblical view of God. However, I am somewhat of an omnist. Furthermore, I believe none of us have an accurate view or understanding of the energy or entity called God. I also believe some are aware of the consciousness called God and some are not.   Realize I’m not dogmatic about any of these ideas.
Believing in God doesn’t make anyone a better person. It’s our own life choices, the things we do, our capacity for love, compassion, and forgiveness. My spirituality today involves self-love, self-respect, honesty, integrity, and authenticity along with compassion and forgiveness towards others. I strive to follow the Golden Rule which says to treat others the way I want to be treated.  In summary, love is my religion.

Looking Within

It’s not always easy to look within. Sometimes I would rather not see or know what is hidden deep within, but I have a natural introspective and curiosity bent. A few years ago, I began a regular meditation practice because I wanted relief from anxiety and peace of mind. I got a whole lot more! I realized the areas of my life where I was faltering, I saw where I could improve but most importantly I learned acceptance. Prior to this, I was just angry, depressed, and confused. I blamed my parents for my f**ked up life. I blamed the cards I had been dealt. I blamed the people who had hurt me. I blamed everyone for the direction of my life and could not see a way out the darkness and confusion. I had no idea that I held the key to my own happiness. I didn’t know I could choose my own destiny. I thought I would just spend the rest of my life coping, struggling and surviving rather than thriving and living life to the fullest by my own will.

I realize not everyone is willing to look within. If I looked at just the external circumstances of my life, everything looked rather bleak. I was just a bad person with bad karma, and nobody loved me or cared about me. Yet, taking a peek on the inside of me, seeing that my heart hurt, yet had a lot of love to give was a bit of a shock. I could hardly believe that inside of me was a wounded little girl in need of love, acceptance, and compassion. This was a good starting point for me to turn my life around. It was a nice starting point to see where things had gone wrong or I had come to believe I was unlovable, unworthy, and dejected. It was an excellent place to begin to love myself. The more I loved and accepted that little girl, the more my love expanded to all of me, and the more I began to heal all the broken places within.

I’m very thankful I had the courage to look within. From outward appearances, I thought I would see just a dark and lifeless soul, but instead I met the loving, peaceful, and radiant woman I’ve become today. I had to go deep within to bring her out though. It’s not for the faint of heart, but it’s a beautiful gift to give to yourself, the gift of your true self. Look within, you’ll see the light that’s been hidden, you’ll find the true person under neath to accept, love and embrace. This is the person before you were wounded, the one before you were given a label, before you put on the masks, the one before you were told who you are supposed to be or how to look, your true essence of self. I always love and accept myself now.

Freedom from fear!

I’m lying down in bed, propped up by two pillows, as I write this blog post. Sometimes life is exhausting, and no matter how much I want to participate in it, I might shrink back out of fear! I have to consciously break through the fear barriers almost everyday. Every new day, is an invitation from life to come out and work, play, enjoy the world, be alive! Life is constantly presenting itself. Maybe there’s a moment of laughter when you see something funny. Or there’s grief and sadness due to the floods and devastation around the world. Maybe there’s comfort and warmth when you see someone helping another. This is the stuff of life!

I ask myself from my bed, what can I do? Well I can pray. I can write notes. I can post encouraging stuff on mass media. Yet sometimes it’s a challenge to roll out of bed. I can send money or encourage others to send money or goods. It’s all in perspective. Everyone can do something. If you smile at a neighbor, help a friend or take a nap because you’re tired, loving yourself, it’s enough. It’s more than enough! You are enough!

Too many days, I’ve had inspiration come to me and I didn’t act upon it because I was afraid. I wanted to speak up. I wanted to say something nice and helpful or I wanted to speak against something horrible but I told my voice to be quiet. I told myself, “no you don’t do that!!!” Yet today, I’m kicking my fear out! I’m telling it to shut the f**k up! I’m telling it, “you’re not welcome here!” I’m not going to allow it to paralyze me anymore. This is all part of my journey. I appreciate all my friends, family, and fans who are patient with me. Those who loudly or silently stand by and cheer me on! Thank you so much! I appreciate those who understand my secret struggle to come out of my shell and be all that I can be, which is enough!

Anytime you see me posting something, that’s me giving birth to a new version of myself who is not afraid. It’s me shedding layers of fear and and holding back from being my true self. It’s me bursting out of the shell that has kept me in constraints! Maybe this post sounds a bit like I’m self absorbed but I’m really thinking of others. I’m thinking of others who have fears or anxiety of putting yourself out there. I’m thinking of people who doubt themselves or have low confidence.

My writing is really to inspire others. I share about my overcoming just to inspire someone else to overcome, too! It’s because I love myself and I love the world. I want everyone to feel empowered and special. I want everyone to not be afraid to shine their light and offer the gift of themselves to the world. I want everyone to experience this freedom from fear! Loving and accepting others is the best gift to anyone, to release fears, and live in personal freedom and empowerment. I love myself, and release all fears that do not serve my highest good.

Beauty of Hindsight

I don’t know how many times I have wondered, “Why did this happen to me?” I don’t know how many times I wondered why I was let go or dismissed. I thought I had done everything right and followed all the rules. I put my best foot forward, I was nice, polite, and “something else”! Yet things didn’t go as planned! What I’ve learned is many people learn their lessons in hindsight. After all, if I’d known a relationship wouldn’t pan out, maybe I never would have started it. If I had known the job wasn’t a good fit, I wouldn’t have tried it and left. Perhaps it was meant to go that way to teach me a lesson! Not many of us have the right perceptions in order to avoid seemingly “disastrous outcomes.” Yet, I believe all of these experiences are life lessons.

However, it usually takes a long time to learn the lesson when I’m resisting it. Like many years ago, I was very depressed and hurt at the way my life was going and the relationships not working out. I wondered what I had done wrong. I didn’t feel like I had done anything wrong. The more I pondered it, the more I wanted an answer, the more I stewed and couldn’t let it go. This is where the danger of falling into depression and being unable to cope comes in. Yes there were many other factors, but at the time I didn’t know how to just let go. I didn’t have the life skills, yet this exact situation was teaching them to me! Resisting, and insisting on answers caused me to lose the lesson until many years after I had finally moved on, and one day I had an “aha” moment of revelation!

I often ask myself now, when things seem to be going awry, “what is this situation trying to teach me?” Sometimes, it’s apparent and other times I need to wait. When I’m stuck in the middle of something, it’s hard to see where it’s going, and what I’m being taught. I’ve learned to be patient, compassionate, forgiving, and loving with myself so that I can continue to function and breathe without spiraling down. This in turn empowers me to give others patience, compassion, forgiveness, love and grace when they’re going through their own struggles. Once I figured out that I learn things in hindsight, I was able to love, forgive and move on.

Resistance slows the process! I had to learn to go with the flow! It takes patience, wisdom and trust in yourself, that you’re going to okay.  As I look back on my life, I see I have overcome so much, and I’m grateful for the beauty of hindsight!

Peace, love, and light!

amazon.com/author/sophiasimo

Today I’m celebrating the two year anniversary of publishing my book Dear Sophia, Love Yourself! I am going to do something celebratory even though I have no idea what right now! Lol. I am somewhat of a dreamer. The idea in my head of what I’m going to do to celebrate and reality is very different! I see myself dressed up, surrounded by friends and family, at a nice restaurant drinking champagne or sparkling cider for me since I’m
a light weight. I see us sitting around in comfortable chairs talking about the favorite story from my book. I can dream right?

Dreams are what this life is made of! Lots of things start out as a little dream. When it’s acted upon, it becomes a creation and reality. Everything I see around me started off as someone’s idea or dream. It’s interesting how it works out. I have received numerous messages of how my book inspired someone or gave them the idea to write their own stories. The messages always warm my heart.

I’m still writing, blogging, and slowly working on my second book. The heart of my book is the 2nd to last chapter called “Therapy Love.” I write about how my therapist was the biggest factor in my healing and changing my mindset. She gave me a rose quartz bracelet which was very special to me. I started buying rocks, stones or crystals as a result. I fell in love with all the colors, the uniqueness of each one, their strength, and the fragility of crystals. They remind me to love myself and others, and to not compare. We
are all unique. All the crystals shine on their own right. So do stars. They just shine, in the darkness, whether we see them or not. This is the person I choose to be today. I choose to be love, I choose to be peace, I choose to be kind and compassionate on my own. I choose to shine my light in the darkness of our world. Thank you to all my friends, family, and fans for your kindness and support. Peace, love, and light.

Overcome Fear With Love

I’ve been working on a new book. Lots of people are writing books these days. I think more people write fiction books than nonfiction or personal memoirs. I write personal stories about my life, healing, and wisdom. I think I’m pretty good but I know not everyone is not interested in this. Anyway, most of my writings are little nuggets of truth I’ve learned along the way that I use to inspire others to think differently about life and issues in general. I don’t cover everything because I choose what I’m going to focus on.

I keep hitting blocks in my writing. I am so passionate about my subject so why doesn’t it just come? Well actually it does, I believe it’s just fear. Fear of what are people going to say or not say. Not that what others say is going to matter. It’s just a matter of principle we tend to care more about what others will say or do, and it stops us from living our dreams.

Fears keep us stuck. I wrote about overcoming fear with love in my first book, Dear Sophia Love Yourself! I really have to love my subject and my message in order to get out of this fear. I really love writing and sharing with the world, but I have the occasional fears, too.

My new book is about the metaphysical world, positive energy, meditation, crystals, angels, energy healing, and how I learned about it all. It’s a fascinating field, but I know it’s not really understood by those who are not into it. I am not an expert on the subject, I am just writing about my experiences. What I really want people to know about the metaphysical world is that it’s not crazy. It’s not quackery. It’s not dark, demonic or witchcraft, even though some might perceive it that way out of fear. Even more so is my wish for everyone to know that positive energy is wonderful and can do amazing things in your life.

I was just telling someone yesterday that crystals are out there shining and glimmering in the light. They don’t hide anything. When I look at them in the light, I can’t help but see my own issues. I can’t help but notice what needs to be seen and where acceptance, forgiveness, release, and adjustments could be made in order to improve my life. I am not afraid to look in the mirror and acknowledge my flaws, but also to see my inner beauty, and shine my light. I have overcome many fears. When a light is shined upon your life, it’s to heal, it’s to take you to the next level, it’s to create something new in your life by releasing the old, or whatever it may be. It’s nothing to be feared.

Fear is paralyzing and keeps us stuck in the past, in our pain, and from moving forward. Love overcomes fear. Love is the answer. Fear cannot dwell in the space of love. Love is the most powerful force in the universe. Don’t let fear drown out your dreams and ambitions. Allow love to flow freely by releasing fear.