One of my favorite pastime is self reflection, introspection, and gratitude for all I’ve been given through the years whether pain, sadness, loss, happiness, triumph, and gain. I spent a good amount of time in self contemplation on my birthday this last weekend. Self reflection is a great way to improve upon my life to learn and grow from missteps and to break cycles. During my 52 years of life, I have had many rebirths and restarts. My greatest rebirth, and truly second chance, was losing the label of mental illness. Now I wear the label of mental health and mental wellness.
Without looking back on what it meant to have mental illness, I want to share about being given a second chance at life on my terms, in my own unique style, in total consciousness, and knowing I get to choose each step of the way. Before, I used to live like a zombie, all of my emotions shut down, I felt so dead since I was heavily medicated because life felt so bad and painful. I couldn’t face the feelings of all the bad things that had happened to me. I was numb to life.
Now, post medication, I live with all the feelings and emotions I want to feel. It’s like a smorgasbord of feelings! Woohoo! It feels good to be alive, even when I cry, it feels good to cleanse my soul! I love a good cry. I don’t cry like I used to. I cried like it would never end (when the medication wasn’t working). I cried like my soul was eternally broken and fractured. Now I cry just because something is beautiful, happy, or sad. I’m a deep feeling soul in a human body that is touched by life as I allow it into my conscious awareness through daily experiences. I allow in as much as I want to, participate when I want to, and how I want to.
It’s never too late for a second chance. There are many opportunities for a do over, if you are willing to recognize it, willing to accept where you are then find a way to move forward. One of the most important lessons I learned in therapy is I always have choices. Wait, no the most important one is to love myself. I don’t know, those two are very big lessons for me! It’s hard to say which was the most important lesson. Lol.
I’m just saying life is full of second chances. There is always another choice, pathway or decision to make. Life is full of experiences and I don’t want to miss a second of it. I consciously choose where I’m going, who I’m going with, what I’ll be doing, and how I will interact with my environment. This is the ultimate power anyone can have over one’s life. To live life consciously and passionately and in love with every single moment whether it’s a positive one or challenging one. Everyday, every moment is an opportunity for a second chance to do life differently, and on your own terms. Let love lead the way. Listen to your heart.